unraveling...

it is an interesting life this!
watching observing and just plainly being in sync with nature
one gets to realize a lot of things...
nature it seems reveals life's secrets to her admiriers and worshipers
no bars here just be quiet
let the calm fold you
in her arms and observe.
each being reveals itself to the universe as it grows old from being newly born
you cannot hide yourself at all time. each manner of ours reveals who we are...and sometimes it reveals who we are with others and how we should in matters of behavior be...

Silence beckons me...

Silence beckons me

once again

into her embrace

her warm caressing of my being

her gentle nudges to not think beyond

of what is as of now

no pondering, no lamenting

and no worrying

its all a waste of today

and the minutes of being in the present

Lets leave it to what’s to happen

for soon tomorrow will be here…

and I will know of what to do then.

Like my very best friend she holds me close

while I hear my breath against her chest

and feel the thudding of my heart…

she seeks me out of the mundane chores of the day

and takes me to be in the garden to inhale

the fresh fragrances of the plentiful blossoms that sit upon the stems…

she lends me her ears while I hear

the songs of the birds I adore…

the magpie robins and the tiny sunbirds…

its as though I am been held by the Divine Unknown.

The grass has got greener in the last few days

and the golden gaze of the sun seem less intense now…

in this silence

I can hear the sea too

as her waves come to kiss the shores

Creating that magical ‘shor’

An orchestra is being conducted

I can feel the music reverberating in my heart…

The cicadas, uninvited,

Never give way to the last notes of this symphony…

Silence with her silent steps melts into the dusky evening…

the soothing warm soundlessness bids me adieu

the night is beautiful...

You make me laugh
you make me cry
you make me smile
and you make me ask a million whys…
there is a full moon up there today
in the sky
and the stars hang low…
this is a cosmic show. Delightful as always
and within its intricate patterns lie the answers i seek!!!
the answers to my so many whys!!!
the night is beautiful
and the blooms that exude the scents so alive…
the little unseen beings chirr relentlessly
and the birds of the night flutter their wings noiselessly
monotonic calls of the cat that prowls…
this is not a silent night
cause out there and within my mind there are plentiful sounds

i had heard the murmur of the sea in the evening
as the sun had slowly tinged it with its evening blush
then this question from nowhere had suddenly rushed
asking me the whens hows and whys…
i had stood watching dusk spread her shadows slowly across the skies… and wondered at the beauty of it all
a star had quietly peeped then from behind the veil and winked so cleverly at me
i quickly sighed lest that too got lost to dusk
i value my sighs …and like to see them fly high
they are an expression of my soul's yearnings…

i could not help but smile...

while my heart fluttered with a myriad of emotions
my garden held a festival of butterflies
any which way the eyes saw
there was a riot of quickly fluttering wings that shone
i could not help but smile
…and quietly recite a poem i knew as a child!!!!
the sky had been an ever changing canvas
with beautiful a hue of blue
where clouds floated
forming shapes
and creating shadows that moved merrily…
… i knew it would rain
cause rain has a scent so unique nowadays…
the smell of wet earth
and fragrance of flowers stolen and brought from afar!
the breeze didn't play tyrant today
it merely helped the flowers to sway upon the stalks
not one blossom did leave its plant!

meditation.

and then she said... let your thoughts out to play...tell them to return in a while ...meanwhile focus on the space between your eyes... and relax...
Its not really such an easy task to not think...its actually a huge task by itself...
i gave it my best shot and along with the shot of sending my thoughts away to wander out nd play i found i wasnt anylonger here...but this happened for the shortest while ... i had gone out to stand by the water to watch the flight of the egyrts and dive of the commorants... and then i had walked at the edge looking into the grey brown waters...thinking i might see the fish...now while i was doing all this i realized i needed to get back home to write about what i saw...and WHAMMM!!!! i was back in the room lying ..with my eyes closed but a smile on my lips...so i hadnt actaully succeeded in the meditation...or had i????

my journey

so today onwards begins my journey in the form of minds communications with everything around me. my thoughts feelings and yes my interactions...
i ask myself at this juncture of my life ' what am i all about?'
who am i?
what am i capable off and where lie my shortcomings... do my short comings have the ability to become an advantage for me or rather putting it like this, can they become my strength?
at 44 i ought to know myself pretty much...or am i still wandering within the inroads into me... the inroads are very much there . this is for sure cause i am much into this business of travelling into my being ... asking myself far too many questions...now my first and foremost question is
WHY AM I SOMETIMES SO LONELY THAT IT BECOMES UNBEARABLE????
SO LONELY THAT I FEEL THAT IF I WERENT ON THIS PLANET BREATHING IN THIS LIFE FORM NOBODY WOULD MISS ME...
but i kno i am so wrong on that ..i know some very near and dear ones would miss me my mom my dad my son and my bestest friend... mom would miss for the longest time i kno...after all she's mom...who gave birth, nurtured and brought me up...shes doing that to this very day in her very special way...she loves me like no other can...
i kno i have alienated myself from most people . its my own doing of my own personal choice so i shouldnt feel this way... another thing i kno is that am not giving myself any credit for what i can be and am capable of being...